Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize