I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
