I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
