Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
