I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
a search helicopter?!
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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