# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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