I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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