all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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