thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
