they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
