No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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