Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize