Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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