a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
