too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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