i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
