Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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