Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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