Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
