I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
