My room smells like vodka and shame
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
