We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
