I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
