just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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