There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize