STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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