Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
