She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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