It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
