she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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