I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
