i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
