I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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