do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
People in love make me want to vomit
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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