so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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