You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
wow bdsm is so cute
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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