i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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