I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
