And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
