Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
