its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
