The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Can you bring me the toilet please
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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