I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
