I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize