How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
