Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's never too late to be topless.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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