We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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