i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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