hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
