Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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