I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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