just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
