When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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