it wasn't lemon gatorade
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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