i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
