You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
