just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
