I looked at my own cervix.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize