remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
