STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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