a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Its about making memories worth repressing
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
