If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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