the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
