So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize