I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
