you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
