11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize