Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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