don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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