Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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