Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
