is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
