when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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