by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
