I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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