office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
birth control should be required to get into college
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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