You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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