She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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