he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize