he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize