There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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