We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
