Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
