I CAN MOONWALK!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize