You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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