toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
