even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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